Welcome to my home, I'm sure you will find it has a nice warm place for you. A place for you to kick back an relax. A place where all your worries and problems go away during your visit. This is a home of fun and partying. What more can anyone ever ask for? I have it all and I am offering it to you.
I offer you fun and a chance to get away from the real world. The real world is filled with so much pain that it can drive you nuts. Everyone is judging you every where you turn. They tell you that you are too fat or you're not smart enough or that you are too weird but not in my home. Everyone is equal as we all just want to escape the world and just enjoy life.
Now is that so bad? Don't you deserve a break? I say you do, so come on in and I'll show you a good time. A time like no other. A time that you will never forget or might not even remember. Either way it is a place where you don't have to deal with the annoying people in the world. Let your hair down and kick your shoes off because this is where the fun is at.
Of course, there is a little thing concerning money to come in – only the first time is free - but that shouldn't be a problem to a resourceful individual like yourself. You can work to pay for it, but that means less time spent in my home. Who wants to stay away that long? Some people can do that, but I say you shouldn't. It is a waste of precious time that should be spent with me in my home.
You can always just get the money from your friends and family. If they love you then they can see how much you really need it. If they are stingy they will say no. This is where you find out who your true friends are. They should give you the money with no questions asked knowing that you are so happy with me.
So if they won't give it to you, you can always just take it. We are talking about my pleasure camp so who has time for morals. They say stealing is bad, but they only say that because they don't know how good it feels to be with me. You're not going to let a little thing that the world – the same world that puts you down – says is wrong? Don't you want to come in? That is what I thought.
Don't listen to those who say you shouldn't come here anymore. Friends and family – HA, what do they know. Do they know your pain and how to ease it better than I can? I think not. Can't they see how much you're enjoying yourself? They are jealous and too afraid to allow themselves this much pleasure. You don't need them for I have enough people in my home that are willing to take you in and become your new family. We all know how to loosen up and have fun.
Warnings, warnings, warnings. “Oh this is bad for you,” they call out. “You are destroying yourself.” All I have to say to these people is this, “Exercise, stay fit, eat right and stay away from the pleasures of me and guess what? You are going to die anyway.” I mean, what's wrong with enjoying yourself while you are alive? These people cannot know the amazement I show you. You only live once, so enjoy it!
You hear them on TV and the movies about just saying no but that is nothing but fiction. Look at the real world. Celebrities have the time of their lives in my home and it is always on the news. Of course they get caught up in the whole stupid lies too and say they are going to stay away from me but does that truly ever happen? Of course not. They always come back for more.
They come for more cause they know I am the cure for all that ails them. I am the one that can cure all their pain. They spend time with me cause they know that I am the best game out there. Don't you think you have the same right to happiness as the celebrities do? Of course you do.
If you feel you would like to invite other people to my place, go right ahead. Invite all the people you want. We are all family here and I am sure they want to have as much fun as you do. Why deny them? Don't be stingy, invite them over. The more the merrier.
All the fun we are going to have all the . . . what's that? You look like there is something wrong. You're having chest pains? Problems breathing? You want me to do what? I don't know why you are bothering me with this. I got better things to do then listen to you complain. I guess maybe you should have listened to your old friends, family and all the warnings. I'm in the fun business not the saving business. That's the other guy.
Too bad, cause he really wanted to save you. He died for you but you denied him to be with me and now it is too late. I'm honored but now the fun has to come to an end. For everything there is a price and it looks like you are about to start paying it.
What's that you say? You thought I cared about you? Man you are so gullible. You see, you're expendable and easily replaced. You have made a horrible mistake. You loved me, but I could care less about you. Who knows, maybe next time I will be with someone you already know – your little sister perhaps - and they will love me as much as you did.
Now if you will excuse me, I have to invite my new guests. Enjoy your trip to hell.
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